Sometimes it’s tough to keep at it
The struggle of maintenance
Sometimes it’s tough to keep at it
One of my frustrations last year was simply finding that there wasn’t time in the day for what I wanted to do. I would read my Bible each day but it felt rushed. I would spend a bit of time praying, but it felt scattered and like my mind kept wandering to the work that needed doing.
I knew that something needed to be changed if I wanted to continue to have a stable ministry and spiritual walk.
During a fireside chat that I was able to attend, Dr. Richard Pratt from Third Mill very bluntly said:
If you make your living from your faith you’re going to lose one or the other.
Everyone in the room was worried because we are all in full-time ministry and we immediately understood. If you’re in full-time, gospel ministry it is really easy to let your study for your job replace your own devotional practice. To make your job your habitus.
The trouble is that it means that you’re only ever staying just ’topped up’. I know that I need to be studying something other than what I am studying to preach because I need to be thinking ahead to what will be coming up later. I need to see how what I am learning for myself joins up with what I am trying to teach to the people under my care. And one of the fundamental things about the Bible is it is all joined up and all connected.
Working on the text for a sermon and working through another text for myself means that I’m getting double the Bible each day.
However…
There is still the issue of fitting it all in. And the fact that, as I write this, it is 8:50pm and my eyelids feel like sandpaper and there is a mild hum throughout my body should be a clue as to my solution.
Waking up early is the only way that I can make this whole thing work.
At the same time, there is no escaping the fact that it is still winter.
And what I can say right now, as a pastor (which means you don’t need to feel bad for finding it hard to maintain a consistent quiet time), is that it is hard.
It is very hard to wake up early. To know that it’s going to be risky trying to push bed time closer to 11pm because it’s only going to make it harder in the morning.
We’re only in the second week of January. It is very much still early days as far as this year is concerned. I have managed to keep my eyes open while sitting and thinking about what I am reading. But only just.
But it’s worth it. It is worth it because I get to have a full hour of uninterrupted time. When you’re in a family of six, that is unheard of.
It’s a chance to experience stillness. Quiet. Calm, before kids start making noise. It’s almost spacious. An hour to read and meditate and pray.
Sometimes I make a cup of tea. Sometimes I just drink some water. Coffee happens later.
But I read and make notes. I’m able to breathe.
The biggest thing for me is remembering that I need these moments just as Jesus needed these moments1. If even he, perfect as he was, needed to withdraw and to spend time in prayer, then surely I do as well.
For further reading, here is a helpful article from Desiring God.2
Luke 5:16; 6:12; 9:18; 22:39–46 among others
I actually read the article a day after writing this post. I am far from the only person to realise that there aren’t many alternatives to rising early.